How Jim Grew a Pair

Hi everybody! I’m Dr. Jim, and I’m here today to tell you the story entitled “How Jim Grew a Pair” aka “How Jim Asked Kayte to Marry Him!”

This story began a little bit after the Good Ol’ Days. It begins in January of 2008. The Good Ol’ Days, as historians know it, ended on June 27^th 2006. That was the fateful day when Pop Star Axl Rose was arrested in Stockholm Sweden, for biting a security guard on the leg. The Event, as it is now known, ushered in a new era known by historians as The Not-Quite-as-Good Newer Days.

In January of 2008 an amazing thing happened to our hero. He noticed a great metaphorical bulging in the front of his pants. He had courage. He knew what he must do. But when? Where? How? Not to mention the two other potential questions.

Jim consulted the stars, and he noticed that he was in fact a Gemini. He was born on June 10^th. “Gemini…June…” Jim thought. What happens in June? “I was born!” Jim stated out loud triumphantly. Then he remembered the what he was dealing with. What else happens in June? The answer my friends? Bluegrass in Telluride! Suddenly the clouds gave way, and a brilliant warm light shone down on Jim’s face. This was especially odd since he was indoors at the time. Jim would propose to Kayte in Telluride!

The next problem slapped Jim in the face like a sea bass. Kayte needed some bling. Jim checked his pockets and noticed he was bereft of any smackolas. What would he do? Suddenly a majestic figure strode into view. He was tall handsome, and had an aura of “I can fix your problems” surrounding him.

“Hey dad” Jim said.

“Hey son, I understand you need some bling to give Kayte,” replied the figure.

“Yeah that’d be cool.”

“I have just the thing son.” The figure reached into his pocket and dropped something into Jim’s hand. “I gave that to your mom a couple of Christmas’ ago. I think you should give that to Kayte.”

“OK dad. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome son.”

Jim had the place and the time. He had the bling. Now all he had to do was wait.

TIME PASSES

June came. And so did Telluride. Kayte and Jim had already decided to go on a hike up to the waterfall. So, this was when Jim knew he must strike. Jim and Kayte started hiking up the long long trail. Somehow it was harder than Jim remembered before, and took longer. Time passed, and Jim’s heart fluttered with each step. Kayte didn’t notice.

They finally reached the top of the trail, and got to the waterfall. The mist formed by the water hitting against rocks was amazingly refreshing and our two heroes decided to sit and relax a bit. Jim waited until he could stand it no more, and got down on one knee. Jim asked her to marry him, and Kayte started crying and muttered something garbled. Jim hoped her response was yes, but decided to let her calm down again before asking her to repeat herself. It turned out that she did in fact say yes. There was much hugging and kissing. People who happened to be near us and overheard asked if they could take our picture, and we said yes of course. Kayte and Jim were engaged, and they would live happily ever after.

The end.

Editors note: Kayte would have you notice that there are several months between January and June. Months filled with neuroses, head scratching, confusion, frustration and chocolate. Lots of chocolate.